Dear all,

Is it me or are people raised behind barns these days? I am serious! You know, when I was growing up my parents taught me the rules of general etiquette and specifically focused on social gatherings. I was told that you had to RSVP within the specified time frame, contact the hosts within a week to tell them your regrets if something came up (e.g. family emergency, illness), bring flowers/wine/dessert or a gift and write a thank you card at least a week after the dinner was held. Seems reasonable to me, but honestly, in this day and age I think people are rude.

Every year DD and I throw a huge BBQ bash at our home. We send out email and snail mail invitations, and spend a lot of our time preparing the house for the event. This is no small feat here, especially with eight cats that are shedding. We buy a ton of food, soda, wine, beer...everything a guest could ever wish for, and then hope for the best.

This year we invited about 50+ guests to our home. About 30 + showed up (most exceedingly late, although some had legit excuses I knew about beforehand, or got stuck in traffic since they were coming a great distance.), but at least 22 people were absolute no shows. A few had told me they may not come but the rest? Not a call. NOTHING. NOT EVEN AN APOLOGETIC EMAIL. OR A CALL DURING THE EVENT.

I am livid. I would never do that to anyone, absolutely never. And yet, these people - my peers- are impossbly rude!  Am I asking too much? Is it ME?

 

Need advice. The weary hostess.

 

OI Pina!! Been there done that!! Hubby and i are now at a stage of life (middleage +) and for the past 6 years our parties have gotten smaller. We still have fun with the few real friends that we appreciate and who appreciate us. We cut out the dead wood as we thought that many of the so called friends were not real friends. At the end of the day it was us who liked throwing parties and thought the more the merrier, well its just not so!! Without wanting to hurt your feelings i would say many of those people probably dont give you a thought until it comes to party time and then only if they have nothing better to do. It hurts you to think that but maybe you should cut down your numbers as i did.
Choose your true friends!!!

Peaple are intolerably rude and I hate to see you done that way. Unfortunately I am done that way regardless of what kind of party I am hosting. Be it for kids or the adults. *sigh* Such behavior has turned me into less of a hostess and more of an intimate gathering holder.
Take care,
Aidan

Oh and my advice is to point out to those people how very rude their behavior is!